How to Stop Divorce - Make Everything about Both of You

Whether you consider yourself together or ‘two’- gether, you will both find a wonderfully comforting yet exciting familiarity with each other. Familiarity never truly spawns into contempt, as the saying goes. Relationships that exist without creativity and satisfaction are the kinds that spawn contempt. Doing things together with your spouse doesn’t mean that you become dependent on each other. Dependence is absolutely the worst thing for your relationship and will ultimately lead to an unhealthy co-dependency. Complete independence is not altogether good for a marriage either. If you are so focused on your own independence, you can never be a true couple. Interdependence is what almost all successful couples have been able to achieve and maintain. Interdependence is simply a reciprocal relation between interdependent individuals. It is possible to achieve such a balance in a relationship and it is the best way to have a respectful and successful partnership with your spouse.Start to think about everything you do as an activity or opportunity for the both of you. If you have to go out of town on a business trip, take your spouse with you. While you’re away or even while you’re at home together, take turns reading the newspaper aloud in bed. Make sure you read the funnies to each other and you must use appropriate voices for different characters!Take entire days together to go out and explore new things. Buy a book that lists all of the attractions in yours and surrounding areas. Visit each place that neither one of you has been to before. Go on treasure hunts to places like flea markets, auctions, antique shops, second-hand stores, garage sales, craft sales and church rummage sales. These are great places to pick up gifts for your spouse that you save for a later date.While most people know about ‘his and hers’ items like bathrobes and towels, there are a number of other items that can be enjoyed together as ‘couples’ items. Try getting matching motorcycles along with matching T-shirts. Have matching his and hers overnight bags, coffee mugs, bicycles, cell phones, cars, holiday ornaments, tennis rackets, rocking chairs and even matching carved pumpkins on Halloween.Go shopping together and work on finding something for him and something for her. Go to a bookstore and select a book that you know your spouse will like and have him or her do the same for you. Go to a music store and select a CD you know that your spouse will like and again, have him or her do the same for you. Find other ways to apply this same concept to other specialty stores.At the beginning of each month, sit down together as a couple and review your calendars. Make all of your plans that you will do together before working in all of your other appointments and commitments into your schedule. Your relationship commitments should always come first and be your top priority. Couples who keep their relationship first in their lives have the most enviable relationships.

The Battle of the Sexes! – By Joseph Ghabi

During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I realised an important factor that a couple in any relationship might experience. The same issue reached my conclusion whilst talking with the people I’ve dealt with during in some of my private consultations. What am I talking about? I guess it is about time to state my intention! We sometimes move from relationship one to another, asking ourselves why we keep attracting experiences with similar characteristics to those we have experienced previously. A male projects his masculine vibration and brings qualities of independence, self-confidence, assurance, security, Ego and pride (negative side and not the best quality!), into the relationship. A female projects a warmer side to that of the male bringing intuition, love, firstly, towards herself before sharing that with her partner, sensation, and her sexuality. Always we find a lack of self-confidence and trust existing in many women (a negative side that should be worked upon). Those are typical characteristics that both sexes should portray to an extent in their relationship identifying their individual sexuality. And always keep in mind, no-one is perfect!In order for a male to grow in a more desirable way being balance and in harmony, he should open up his female side, though in such a way as not to allow it to take place of his role in being a man, but in order to open up his intuition and encourage the balance between his male and female vibrations.A female, on the contrary, should open up her male side in order to build up her self-confidence and trust in herself. Thus, bringing her the quality of leadership and balancing both sides of her vibration.In today’s world, a woman’s place is shifting from that of being a housewife into being at the top in the corporate world. That is a positive change and it is about time too! However, not at the expense of allowing her male vibration to take place over her female vibration. Think about it! During the 1900’s we had a hundred years governed by a male vibration where men were in control ({19} 00 = 19 = 10 = 1). Since the year 2000 the vibration is changing into that of a female vibration which will be in effect for the next hundred years ({20} 00 = 20 = 2). The 1 is a male vibration and 2 is a female vibration. A change of attitude in the way we consider a woman being in top job positions did start to take place over approximately twenty years ago. This begun when the energies started to shift. The new century brought preparation for the new female vibration. So my point is that women should not be or acting as if they are male in order to prove a point. It is far more appropriate for women to simply be themselves and they will be fine with that whilst the universal energies are in their favour.Another contributing factor which many women are likely to have encountered upon in their lives is where negative experiences or relationships as an adult or a young woman in her past encourage them develop a strong male vibration into their energy. The woman may not even be aware of this fact, but it is a natural instinct in order to help her survive the difficult experiences in her life. Bringing this male as a means of survival is acceptable, however, it is critical that women learn where to draw the limit and realise the consequences of having too much male energy is likely to bring. In both cases, it is not helpful for either sex to have a male vibration to over power the female side when you are supposed to be a woman. As is the case for any male, it is not appropriate to have the female vibration overpowering his masculine side. The most important key to learn and understand is balance!Now let’s imagine ourselves in a situation where even if the man in your relationship is not sensitive towards detecting energies around him, but un-consciously he will be able to detect that male vibration in his partner. That in any case will bring a power struggle on its own behalf. In homosexual relationships, it is common to see one of the partners playing role of the male or the female. That is, by all means okay. However, when we are in a heterosexual relationship and being well defined opposites then it is likely to become an indirect problem that many of us who are involved in a relationship are not able to detect any imbalance of energies between the male and the female. Thus, allowing it to grow until it can eventually hurt the relationship. As I did mention previously, the importance lies in maintaining a balance.I would like to mention the importance for a woman to really build her male side in order to build her self confidence, self trust and the gutsy feeling that will enable her to bring the drive she needs to move and do what she wants to do in this lifetime. Though, not as a means of becoming an equally assertive male in the relationship! I do not believe for a moment that women are born in this lifetime in order to have babies and sit at home as housewives! Though some women do accept this and enjoy this lifestyle, they do have responsibility in bringing handling the necessary experiences in order to promote their growth at a soul level. The amount of growth a soul will achieve can also be determined under what society, culture and religion the woman is born into. In reality in many relationships today, many men are abusing their power by taping into their partner weaknesses where there is a lack of self-confidence and trust in the woman to achieve what they want in their own reality. This case stands true for many females who might also be abusing the male in the relationship and this cannot be disregarded in any case. Relationships with characteristics such as these will drive the relationship into a dead end zone where that relationship is, of course, doomed to fail. The reason being, the time will come to say enough is enough when nothing is moving or changing in that relationship. Being in love with someone is one thing but becoming a doormat is something else. I believe many of you will be able to identify with what I am taking about.Now let’s be honest and see if we can identify if your male or female side is strong in you. Please remember, this does not imply that every woman and man will have this problem. If you are still reading this far in the article you might ask yourself the question how do we go about identifying if this is a problem for us? The most difficult part is admitting and accepting the foundation of the problem, but after this how do we handle it?First let’s start in identifying the problem. In some women, it is obvious through her walk, her way of talking, her attitude and ego. Sometimes these traits are not so obvious and in this case she needs to go deeper, looking into her attitude in certain cases, her sexual preferences (are they male preferences?), and her ways in handling her day to day activities in general. Please do not depend on your boyfriend or husband to identify the problem. They might not be aware of it but in any case it does not hurt to get their honest opinion. Only balanced men with female energy can easily identify the problem. It can be really obvious for them to detect sometimes.If we discover that we have this problem, one of the most important factors is in acceptance of it and not to allow your ego and sense of pride to drive you into ignoring the reality of the situation. We are talking here in terms of a male ego and pride and it might be tough to let go of. You must identify the reason of why you are doing this exercise in the first place. One important factor is that you are doing it purely for yourself. No blame should be directed in any way or form towards anyone who is involved, including yourself! Rather, you should spend your time and energy in trying to trace back to where the problem originated.This exercise should not take forever to implement. It is not a life process to deal with our problems or issues as long as we have a true will to do so. Understanding a problem or a situation is basically one way of looking to our problems. So in your own time and regardless of your age, just go back in time and recall certain experiences where you had an involvement with a male figure. This can be your father, an uncle, a cousin, a boyfriend, or a husband. In some cases these situations it can trace as far back to an age as young as five years old. Write down in your diary the whole event in order for you to empty it from your sub-conscious and then go further in time to any relationship where you were involved with the opposite sex. Try to figure out what went wrong in the situation. Eventually you should be able to determine the common dominator in all of the different experiences and any pattern that is evidently repeating itself in the same time. When you do identify the problem the next step is now to deprogrammed all things that you have build up in your mind about how things should be. For example, your reactions to specific situations, people and your emotions and feelings in accordance to these reactions. All of the points that I have explained can come as a result from the problem situation in the first place. It is also very important to forgive yourself and the person involved in the situation. Take a look back at what you wrote six months later and you will see the difference in yourself after your effort toward bringing the changes you made during that time. It might seem too simple to you. Well, it is, but it does work.I would like to say also that I have NO problems with homosexual relationships as I do respect them as a matter of personal choice, preference and free will. My article brings discussion of the issues stated from a heterosexual male’s point of view, of whom, is in relationship with a woman. In the end, do we realize that a man is only required to enhance his female by bringing the female intuition into his side? For a woman she needs to bring a male vibration into her environment which will bring her self-confidence and trust in herself. It is all about balance and has nothing else to it, so, let’s not complicate matters here, it really is pretty simple!I would like to add at this point that this article is directed mainly toward women who are experiencing predominantly male characteristics as oppose to a male being over feminine. I believe I have no place to be discussing the latter as being a male myself! I can not experience the other end of the equation in sensing a male with a strong female. That issue will be for a woman to discuss in terms of a heterosexual relationship experience.Copyright © Joseph Ghabi http://www.freespiritcentre.infoAbout the Author:Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the ‘Free Spirit Centre’ website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 750 articles on the site.

52 Free Things to Do with Your Partner on Date Night

One of the things that works to keep relationships alive is spending quality time with each other. In this day of the information age, it is becoming increasingly difficult to carve out the necessary time to nurture our relationships. What with long work hours, helping kids with their homework, transporting them around to their extracurricular activities, getting dinner, cleaning up and going through the bedtime routine, what time is left?Unless you orchestrate the time for your relationship, other less important things will crowd in and take what precious little time you do have. Pick a night that will be “date night” with your partner and make a game out of being as creative as you can be. Try to see how many things you can do without spending money.To get you started, I’ve come up with some suggestions to help you for the next year. What follows are 52 ideas for how to spend creative time together without spending money. Feel free to add or modify any of the items on the list to suit your particular relationship and circumstances.WINTER1. Take a drive to look at the Christmas decorations.2. Play cards---perhaps strip poker.3. Watch a movie together.4. Go outside and have a snowball fight.5. Get some finger paints and create your own body art with each other as your canvass.6. Go sleigh riding.7. Go ice skating.8. Work out or exercise together.9. Stage your own improvisation show.10. Sing to each other.11. Review or create a photo album or scrapbook of your memories together.12. Play a board game---perhaps chess, Scrabble or Twister. 13. Go to a book store, get coffee and read for hours.SPRING14. Work on a remodeling project together.15. Plan and complete a yard work project together.16. Do the spring cleaning together---room by room. When done, reward yourself by making love in the room you’ve cleaned.17. Put on old clothes and mud wrestle after some drenching rain.18. Give each other a massage.19. Play catch---football, baseball, softball or Frisbee.20. Go to a car dealer and test drive the car of your dreams.21. Shoot basketball together.22. Dance together.23. Take a shower together and wash each other---everywhere.24. Take a free adult education class together.25. Go to a mall and have a contest to see which one of you can get the most free samples.26. Go rollerblading or bike riding.SUMMER 27. Build a campfire and roast marshmallows.28. Go swimming or skinny dipping.29. Give each other a manicure or pedicure.30. Go somewhere crowded to people watch.31. Go to a free outdoor event, perhaps a concert.32. Lie on a blanket outside and watch the clouds or stars.33. Go on a picnic.34. Watch a fireworks display.35. Be creative and engage in sexual role plays. Be anyone you’d like to be for the night who is also exciting for your partner.36. Sit by the water somewhere.37. Do a prolonged strip tease for each other.38. Have a water balloon fight.39. Sit outside and read poetry to each other.FALL40. Go for a drive together.41. Go window shopping.42. Incorporate food into your love making---chocolate syrup, whipped cream, fondue, strawberries---anything you and your partner enjoy.43. Call or write to someone you haven’t had contact with in a while.44. Cook something together.45. Spend an evening just talking with each other. Talk about the things you have done, plans you have for the future, important people in your lives or current events.46. Take a bubble bath together.47. Go to a free movie or museum.48. Take a drive and find the potential in old houses and their properties.49. Create an imaginary story together---either orally or in written form.50. Take turns being each other’s genie in a bottle by fulfilling your partner’s every wish and fantasy.51. Play in the fallen leaves.52. Create an exciting scavenger hunt that ends in your bed.Now you have 52 suggestions for things to do with your partner for every week of the year divided by season. Certainly you don’t have to follow my suggestions. Feel free to add your own or to repeat your favorites as often as you’d like. The main point is not to see how kinky you can get. The idea is to keep your relationship alive by making time together a priority. It is important that you find things to do as a couple that you can both enjoy. If you have vastly different interests then you can enter this with the spirit of taking turns and each agree to happily participate in the activity chosen by the one whose turn it is that week. As long as you make a habit of making your relationship a priority and allocating time each week for rejuvenation of the feelings that attracted you in the first place, then you stand a good chance of staying together for the long haul.Please don’t let insidious boredom enter into your relationship through the back door. This is what frequently happens when we are busy placing other things ahead of our time for each other. You know what I mean---the job, the kids, our friend in crisis, etc. There will always be a competing interest for the time you’ve set aside for each other.Other than natural disasters, threat of death or major crises, do not allow your time together to be invaded by any outside forces. Make sure to create opportunities for you to do things together without outside influence. With more than 50% of today’s marriages ending in divorce, make this small investment in the longevity of your relationship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. What’s stopping you? Start today..

Domestic Violence - Ask Agony Aunt - updated

Dear Agony AuntMy partner abuses me mentally and physically - what should I do?Agony Aunt Says:Ask a dozen people and each one of them will give you as many opinions. Remember, they are opinions. Ultimately, you have to make a choice - it's your life.Even full time professionals get it wrong from time to time because they often focus on what they are taught. They go through the "processes" and on occasions they forget that each case is unique; they forget they are dealing with real people. Fortunately, such mistakes are rare.What would I do if I were placed in a situation that you describe?***I would immediately ensure my personal safety.If I face any immediate danger, I would call the authorities. Otherwise, I would move away from the threat and seek help from a lawyer. If necessary, the lawyer would take appropriate steps to stop the threats and the violence.Of course, by consulting a lawyer, I know that I may be putting my relationship on the line as my partner may react adversely to this. But then the choice is between putting the relationship at risk or my personal and emotional well being.Refuse to live in fear.I take the view that mental and or physical violence is not acceptable - I have a zero tolerance for it.A relationship only works properly when the parties respect human dignity.If my partner doesn't respect me and uses violence, I would put my foot down on the very first occasion and say that if it happens once more, that will be the end of the relationship. If it happens a second time, I would end the relationship.Violence doesn't have any place in a truly loving relationship.Here's another important tip: most offenders carry on because victims keeps quiet.Bring the violence out in the open - and your partner may change. If not, don't put up with it - you can do far better with your life; don't waste it behind violent creatures.*** Important disclaimer: I simply offer my "opinion"so you may compare it with help available via your local professionals. You should always seek local professional help and advice before taking any action.====================Resources and References:Copyright 2005 by Agony Aunt at http://www.AffectionatePersonals.com / http://www.AskProfessors.com / Article Syndication by http://www.InternetPressOffice.com / Writing and Editing by Freelance Writers / Freelance Ghostwriters / Web Content Writers at http://www.CorporateWriters.comAll Rights Reserved.Agony Aunt at http://www.AffectionatePersonals.com / http://www.AskProfessors.com / Article Syndication by http://www.InternetPressOffice.com / Writing and Editing by Freelance Writers / Freelance Ghostwriters / Web Content Writers at http://www.CorporateWriters.comAll Rights Reserved.

How We Define Our Relationships – by Joseph Ghabi

We can fall into the habit of complaining about our relationships, but do we really take the time to evaluate them? Maybe not, because well, we’re always right! He or she never listens to ME or does things the way I think is right (the human EGO speaking loudly here!)First of all, we need to understand one thing – which we do not live in our parents’ or grandparents’ time. The “souls” of our generation are here to acquire as much life experience as possible in this one lifetime. What do I mean by this? When my soul decided to come back and integrate into this body, the temple of my soul, I educated myself in spirit and prepared (in theory) for all the experiences I would have in this lifetime. I decided to come back to understand these experiences by having to understand the human emotions – the anger, the crying and all of the other human frustrations – that went with the experience. But in reality, this is an experience for my soul knowledge, for my forever soul evolution. Once this experience is finished, everything from that experience needs to be completed without leaving any residue of emotions, and then will be the time to prepare for a new venture. As humans, we rarely complete a relationship properly; often we hope that one day it might work out. Personally, I believe that once an experience is not working in the first place, it will not work later. Unless BOTH, and I really mean BOTH parties are ready to give up their differences, our old patterns from that relationship, along with the help of our sub-conscious, will bring the same familiar events back into our life. Remember, even if we meet our soul mate, unless both soul mates are ready for each other, the relationship will never work. It’s important that we learn to cut our emotions after every experience in order to make proper room for the next one. Once we leave a relationship, we cannot expect the new one to be the same. This just does not make sense! Things eventually evolve if you properly cut your emotional links with the previous relationship, and you accept change into your life. In reality our soul will never allow us to go backward in our life except when our human mind decides we want to stick around and have the same type of relationship again. Then we are falling back into our old pattern. Look at your relationships and see if there is a pattern that you keep running into, then accept this and, without any blame to yourself or the other people involved, just feel blessed about what you learned and accomplished and wish the best for all people involved – because what goes around comes around, multiplied!How do we define our relationships? A relationship is a two way street. Why would we decide to go into a relationship if we are NOT ready to walk down a new street? If we need a relationship just for the sake of feeling safe and secure about ourselves then we are in for a long haul. A two way street type of relationship, in my definition, is when both partners involved accept each other for the way they are and not the way they want the other person to be. In many cases, we look to the exterior values, being physical or of a material nature. How do they look? What car are they driving? What do they do in life? These values exist only at the surface level. These traits eventually lose all relevance and eventually fade.Accepting your partner requires an amount of responsibility from your part in numerous ways. And we must not, under any circumstance, allow ourselves to become a doormat for the other person. We should treat each other with respect, from a deeper level as equal, and learn to listen, enabling the development of a strong foundation, crucial in the building of a solid relationship. We need to understand their soul. I only ask you to be honest with yourself. Identify your previous partners and see what exactly attracted you to that person initially. It might surprise you to see that we always look for what is acceptable on the exterior, disregarding what values exist internally.There are many principles with regard to relationships and it would be to your benefit if you were to apply some careful thought and consideration to what motivates you to become involved in the relationships you do. Consider what, in reality, you really want as a human being. After establishing this, in your own right, you will be able to identify these qualities within another person and then you are more likely to be successful in finding the right partner for you.A relationship is based on three things: First is to be able to associate socially on some common ground and enjoy being together. Second is to be able to communicate well and express our emotions in a healthy way. Third is to be connected with your soul partner and allow your partner to get to know you better by opening up on a deeper level.Copyright © Joseph Ghabi http://www.freespiritcentre.infoAbout the Author:Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the ‘Free Spirit Centre’ website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site. Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.

7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship

7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship by Cecil McIntoshIn my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partnerReality Check 1You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partnerReality Check 2You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.Myth 3I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.Reality Check 3Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining armourReality Check 4You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship.You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationshipReality Check 5In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feelingReality Check 6It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationshipReality Check 7As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.In summary:1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your partner's true essence.2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.